Shadow of an imprint
by jaytan
Summary: Paul has never had to look out for anyone but himself, this was common knowledge amongst the pack and well...everyone else who knew him. All that changes after he encounters something no other pack member in their history has. A complicated connection with a little girl turns his whole world upside down, only to then have it turned inside out by Bella Swan. Mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

_This story will contain mature themes(sexual, emotional, physical abuse) It is a lot less about the structure of pack life than it is, life around the pack. I understand the subject is a sensitive one but I have tried to approach it in a way that I hope is respectful and accurate. As an Aboriginal person(Native, Canadian born.) I have personally faced some of these issues growing up in a smaller community(A reserve with a growing population of about 1700 it really is an issue on many reserves as I am sure it is in many other places, sadly it has been a way of life for many for far too many years and is only recently being addressed as is with the rest of society.) and understand that the content might be hard for some to read, please note that these themes will continue throughout the story.) Do let me know if you feel that I might have handled a subject in poor taste and I will do my best to edit those pieces out, thank you_

**1. Making Sense. (PPOV)**

Not in this lifetime or in any other lifetime for that matter, could this be possible. Paul shook his head as he stared down at the tiny girl in front of him. There was absolutely no fucking way this was his imprint, that shit happened to pansy assed mama's boys like Quil, not to him. It was as if the walls were closing in on him, he was having a hard time breathing and he couldn't remember it being like this in Sam, Jared or even Quil's memories, this wasn't right. It was like he was being sucked into a black hole and could find no escape, it made him anxious and afraid, two things Paul Lahote had rarely if ever, experienced.

There were approximately five other people crammed into the tiny store, the four aisles were jammed together too tightly for him to be able to just squeeze by the kid without knocking her over. It was suddenly too hot, even for him and he just needed to get the hell out of there. He kept looking at the cashier, she was the store owner, one of Jared's aunties as if she could help him. She didn't seem to notice that he was currently having some sort of panic attack. The internal battle he was having with himself was scaring him, his wolf was thankfully the calm one, keeping him in check. Beads of sweat were rolling off him, why the hell did he wear a shirt today? He had to calm down. The voice in his head, the one he thought of as his wolf wanted him to make sure the child was alright, the sane part of him refused to allow this vampire killing beast have its way. Too fucking bad. He did however calm down enough to look at her.

The girl had big brown eyes and short choppy brown hair, it looked like she had cut it herself with broken scissors. There was a faded bruise on her tiny jaw, he could tell she was not alright, she looked to be about five or six years old, her clothes were too big for her and they looked and smelt like they hadn't been washed in a while. He had gone his whole 19 years not giving a fuck about anyone else but himself and a split second turned his whole world upside down. There was a war happening within him, even he knew that this child was in obvious need of protection but maybe he could call a social worker or something, he wasn't about to become some kid's nanny like Quil was, he couldn't be tied to some helpless child…there was no way.

"Listen here kid, I don't know where your mommy and daddy are but you better run home and find them alright? You shouldn't be wandering around here alone anyway, do you know what kind of monsters are lurking around here just looking for kids to-"

"My mommy left and my daddy went to find her." He hadn't expected her to say anything and he flinched because she sounded wounded, he remembered that feeling all too well. Paul gave his head a shake and scanned the aisles, she couldn't possibly be here alone and he wasn't about to make this kid his problem, he had enough of those to last him the rest of his miserable existence.

"Well are you here with a brother or sister, a cousin or aunty or uncle or something, come on kid, you cant be much older than what…" He frowned as he thought about it. "Six?" She smiled and nodded and he noticed that even her teeth were in poor condition, he was feeling worse with every passing second, he wasn't going to abandon this child but he wasn't about to kidnap her either, that was insane. He was so fucked.

"My granny sent me to get milk." She stopped smiling and he felt bad, he didn't want to be giving the poor girl a complex. He nodded and sighed, this was definitely not how he planned on spending his Saturday afternoon, he had come to pick up some eggs for Emily and then he was supposed to go to the beach, now he felt obligated to make sure this kid, his imprint or whatever she was to him, made it home safely.

He grabbed the largest jug of milk and a few cartons of eggs and walked to the counter to pay for it, she followed him around like a tiny shadow and he rolled his eyes, he was definitely not prepared for this. She handed him her crumpled five dollar bill and he chuckled.

"Its okay, I'm sure your granny and you could use the money for milk next time huh?" She smiled again and nodded. Paul had no idea how he was going to explain this to whatever grandmother this child belonged to. As he walked out of the store with the little girl, whose name he didn't even know yet on his tail, he bumped into none other than the leech lover, he wanted to tell her to watch where the fuck she was going but not in front of a kid, that was too much even for him. Bella looked scared, as she always did when he was around. She turned pink and flapped her hands in front of her nervously as she mumbled an apology.

"Oh god, I'm sorry Paul." She noticed the little girl standing behind him and then looked up at him, right in the eye and it was weird because it was the first time he'd really looked at her and that feeling was back and he felt like he couldn't breathe again. Was this some sort of sick joke? Was he actually imprinting twice in the same day? Bella sucked in a breath and blinked, she looked like a deer trapped in headlights and he needed to phase but his wolf stilled him once again, he took a breath.

"Did you just…" Bella frowned but she hadn't taken her eyes off him yet, he couldn't seem to look away like last time, it was as if he'd literally been torn into two and couldn't pull himself back together. "Did you just imprint on me?" She finally asked. He was sort of glad she was a leech lover who knew about their secret, it was going to make explaining things slightly easier. Paul finally managed to look away, to check on the little girl who seemed to be fascinated by what was happening in front of her. Clearing his throat he looked back to Bella and shrugged because he wasn't entirely sure this was an imprint.

"Honestly I don't know. It sort of happened with her too…" He looked back at the girl. "It was different though, like I need to help her, not her need for me…" Paul shut his eyes, he could feel the headache coming on, this was all sorts of fucked up. Bella tilted her head a little to look at the girl before looking back at him and nodding.

"Okay…" She stood there looking thoughtful for a moment and he couldn't look at her, oh he wanted to but he wasn't sure how to process this sudden attraction to a girl he never gave the time of day to and this overwhelming need to protect this child he had only met moments ago. "-I'm sure it will eventually make sense but right now…" she hesitated, searching he guessed for an explanation, she looked back at the girl. "Well right now maybe I can help you bring this little lady home."

Paul nodded, thankful for the help, he had never paid much attention to Bella before, he knew she was best friends with Jacob and that she was always hanging around Emily's, she had come out of her "zombie phase" somewhere over a year ago after her vampire boyfriend left her. Jacob was probably going to be annoyed that Paul had suddenly imprinted on her after all this time, it wasn't like it was his fault, plus he had other shit to worry about, like the fact that he may have also imprinted on a six year old kid.

"I'm Bella and I'm sure Paul here meant to introduce himself at some point if he hasn't already, what's your name?" He was really glad she was there now though, it was like Bella showed up when he needed her and that was even more fucked up. The little girl smiled brightly at her.

"My name is Wendy." The three of them walked down the front road, Bella still talking to Wendy, they approached a run down house, Bella's smile had faded but she managed to keep whatever worry she had off her face, Paul on the other hand stiffened up completely. They were at old Benny and Sheila's place, everyone knew they ran their own kids off the rez and were probably two of the biggest drunks in the small community.

"Is your gramma home Wendy?" Bella was studying the little girl now, he could see her jaw tighten as she spotted the fading bruise. Wendy had her head down but she nodded. "Would it be okay if I walked you inside, just to let her know you're safe?" The little girl looked absolutely terrified at the idea, Paul thought maybe she thought she was in trouble and that made his chest tighten. "I promise you're not in trouble." Wendy looked up at Bella and nodded and practically dragged herself step by agonizing step to the door. Before they even turned the knob, the door flew open and an older man wearing nothing but boxers stood in front of them. Paul could feel a growl rising, all his instincts were telling him to pick both Wendy and Bella up and get the hell out of there but he couldn't.

"Who the fuck are you!" It was Benny and he reeked of alcohol. Both Bella and Wendy flinched but Paul didn't move a muscle. The old man seemed to notice he was there and straightened himself out. "I know you…" His face contorted, he looked like he was disgusted at Paul. "You're one of Billy's _protectors_…" The man must have been filled to the brim with liquid courage because he stepped forward and spat on Paul. There was a whole ten seconds where Paul could swear his brain broke, the wolf and man were stunned silent, no one had ever had enough balls to even get that close to him, he could hear Bella's shallow breaths and Wendy's whimpers from somewhere behind him. This man would be easy enough to tear apart with his bare fingers but somewhere in the working part of his mind he knew that was a bad idea. Instead of tearing out his throat, like he wanted to Paul wiped the spit from his face with the shirt he was wearing. He took careful, slow steps toward the man, leaning forward so they were face to face he took a breath and made sure his voice was low enough so Wendy wouldn't hear.

"I'm going to tell you this one time. I can hear, see and smell _everything_ that goes on around here, I've got eyes and ears everywhere, if you so much as breathe near that little girl again I will come back here and give you the slowest, most painful death possible. I know you've heard the stories, stumbled across the tracks in the woods…" Paul could smell the fear coming off him now, there it was-because everyone on the reserve had heard the stories, and they _should_ be afraid. "I can smell the filth you and your wife think you're hiding in here. You think the whole town doesn't know about what you did to your kids?" Paul let out a low growl. "We know." The very thought of leaving this girl here made his stomach twist in painful knots and he knew what he had to do, he was going to call Charlie as soon as they left there had to be something he could charge the bastard with, and then he was going to talk to Billy because there was no fucking way he was going to allow these people to hurt any child ever again, especially not this one.

Trembling the man nodded and backed away, he didn't meet Paul's eyes again, he did motion for Wendy to get back in the house. Bella's eyes were wide as she stared at the man then back to Paul. He noticed that she was holding onto Wendy's hand and her grip seemed to tighten as the old man grunted at his granddaughter, what didn't make sense only an hour ago seemed to fall into place in that moment. Paul walked back to where they both stood and kneeled down and lowered his voice so only Wendy and Bella could hear him.

"You know where Mr. Black lives?" He hoped she did, the tiny girl nodded and he felt a little more relieved. "How about Emily Young?" Wendy nodded again and he could feel himself calming down. "I want you to know that you can go to either of those houses if you feel afraid or if he tries to hurt you again okay?" The little girl nodded quickly, she hugged Bella's waist before running into the house. It took him a full thirty five seconds to move from the front steps, Bella stood there staring at the door like she wanted to break it down, she didn't seem like the fragile girl Jake thought about all the time and this draw to her was beginning to make more sense to him.

"We need to call your dad and then a social worker, it would be best to find a home for her on the reserve or in forks, we need to get her out of there as fast as possible." He was firm in this and Bella nodded before pulling out her phone, they walked quickly and he didn't really care what the pack thought of this weird imprint situation he had suddenly been thrown into, to him it made sense to him and that's all that mattered.

**AN: It has been a long time since I've posted a story here and I probably should have gone back and edited my old ones before trying to add another but I just couldn't help myself. Another Paul and Bella Story, because I don't know how to write anything else...apparently. I have several chapters written for this story and am going to do my best to keep a chapter coming once a week, seems manageable right? Lol We shall see. I understand the content is pretty dark and it will probably get worse before it gets better...so I urge you to stick with it for a resolution...which is my idea of an ending because happy endings don't just happen right? Okay that was a long enough note..**.


	2. Chapter 2

_I am really pleased that people actually want to read this fic, I really appreciate the reviews and those who added this to their alert's or favorite's thank you :)_

**2. Monsters.(EmbryPOV)**

It was like he had walked into some sort of portal and entered a parallel universe or maybe he should have stayed away from those berries, he knew they didn't smell right, he was probably high right now. That is the only way he could explain the circus that was unfolding before his eyes, Embry sat and watched as Paul went from pacing Sam and Emily's kitchen to fidgeting with Bella Swan's bracelets and hair. What the hell was going on here? Jacob was moping in the corner and he suspected it was because of this…whatever was happening with his Bells and the guy who just yesterday and every day before would walk out when Bella "Leech lover" Swan entered a room.

None of the others were here yet, Embry walked in and sat down beside Jacob, he looked like he might need the support. It was obvious that something serious had happened over the course of the last twenty four hours. Bella was holding the phone with one hand and running her other hand through Paul's hair…Embry shook his head but said nothing, his questions would be answered soon enough. He was pretty sure that is why they were called to this meeting but there was more, he could feel the anxiety from both Paul and Bella it was so weird.

Not long after he arrived Quil barged through the door, he looked between Paul and Bella just as Embry had he simply shrugged it off and went for the food because this was Quil after all. Jared was next and he didn't seem to think it was all that strange either. It was like they had seen this before…holy shit! Embry jumped to his feet, startling only Jacob. He was the only other non imprinted wolf in the room, of course he wasn't absorbed in anything but the thoughts of probably Bella and surely he would have figured it out too. Embry looked at his friend, Jake looked like a child who had been denied a favorite toy, simply just put out and it was kind of odd because honestly he didn't think Jake would have given Bella up that easily…did he really not know?

Even stranger was when Leah walked in and went to sit beside Bella and Paul. Yes, Embry decided this was the fucking twilight zone, Leah and Bella were not exactly friends and she and Paul were constantly butting heads, before he could stop himself Embry stood up.

"What the hell is going on here?" Everyone looked at him but no one could answer. It wasn't until Sam stepped into the cramped space, followed by Seth, Collin, Brady and of course Emily. He cleared his throat and looked between Paul and Bella.

"It seems we have some trouble with a new imprint…" He looked at Paul again. "Is that what we're calling this?" Paul shrugged and Bella hit his arm, Embry looked around to see if any of his brothers or their sister thought this was as fucked up as he did. Bella just hit Paul and he didn't seem the least bit concerned. Sam continued. "I know this is going to seem a bit strange to some of you." He looked directly at Embry who could not believe he was the only one who thought it was messed up. Really?! "But Paul imprinted yesterday…twice." That seemed to get everyone's attention. Jacob jumped up from his corner and immediately moved to the space right in front of Paul.

"That's impossible!" It wasn't Paul or Sam who reacted to his outburst but little Bella Swan, she jumped up and stood between Paul and Jake, it was so unlike her that it caught Jacob off guard.

"Why is it so impossible Jacob? You turn into a fucking wolf, a giant ass wolf, to kill vampires and your soul mate is chosen for you, why is it so impossible to believe that maybe there is more to all this then what's happened so far?" She crossed her arms as if she was daring him to answer and of course he didn't because he like the rest of them knew that it was possible, as everything else that was supposed to be impossible was. She was right and Embry nodded, in their world, the possibilities were unfortunately endless…that scared him.

"So Paul imprinted on you and who else then?" Leah asked from her spot beside Bella, she had spoken so softly it was almost hard to hear her, so unlike Leah, had they swapped bodies or something? Bella looked to Paul to speak, he let out a sigh, it was strange to see him looking so defeated.

"She's six, her name is Wendy and she's Benny and Sheila's granddaughter." This caused everyone to react, not because he had imprinted on a child, they'd been there, done that already, that didn't matter. What mattered was who the child was. Embry let out a growl, everyone knew what kind of man Benny was, the trauma he had put his own children through. What parent in their right mind would leave their daughter with parents like that? Sam waited until everyone quieted down before speaking.

"Charlie is involved as well as a social worker, it would be best if we could find her a home here on the reserve or in Forks, her parents are both deceased and her other family has been contacted…" He looked to Paul to for confirmation before continuing. "Paul was there yesterday, it seems that she slipped under our radar…" Sam stopped, the shame that he felt was felt by everyone in the room. How many other children were going through this in their own community? Embry shook his head. "Its bad, he could smell it, she had one visible bruise on her face, she's smaller than kids her age…she hasn't been taken care of." Leah was shaking so hard she had to run outside, they could hear her. It was Jake who no longer looked bothered that the supposed love of his life was now the imprint or...something of one of his pack mates, who followed Leah out and the rest of them sat quietly absorbing this information.

Embry looked at Paul and could see the worry, the fear and the uncertainty clouding his usual cocky self but he was calm and he knew the only reason for that was the tiny woman beside him. Yea their fate was twisted and tangled into dozens of knots but Bella and Paul were exactly where they were supposed to be in that moment and not even Jacob could argue that. His thoughts were broken by Jake and Leah's return, she mumbled a quick apology for the way she left even if there really was no need…they all understood. Sam carried on.

As his pack, they would need to understand the complexities of this situation, this child wouldn't be like Claire, and that made Embry's heart heavy. No child should have to carry such a burden and Embry vowed that whatever he could do to take that load off her tiny shoulders, he would. The meeting ended and he left feeling a sense of urgency, how many other kids were being robbed of their childhood's under their noses. He didn't remember having the best childhood but it wasn't the worst either. His mother loved and cared for him, made sure he knew without a doubt he was safe and loved, always loved. Embry ran home and found his mom at the kitchen table.

He had never noticed the dark circles under her eyes before now, it was because of him, because of this secret he wasn't allowed to share with her, his own mother, that those were there. Without saying anything he walked up behind her and hugged her and she let him. When he could pull himself together he pulled up the chair across from hers. She sat silently with her cup of tea between her hands, waiting for him to speak. They remained this way until he looked up from his hands.

"I wish I could tell you what's going on but I cant." He hated himself for putting her through the stress the last few years but he thought it was better that she didn't know. He couldn't imagine her reaction to her son turning into some mutant wolf who killed vampires anyway. She looked at him and smiled, it was a tired smile but a smile nonetheless.

"Em, I've been your mother for eighteen years. I remember when your rolling turned to crawling and your walking turned to running." She smiled at her son across the table. "I can remember when your talking turned into talking back and everything in between…" He had always been close to his mother, right up until he phased and it made him sad to think he had become somewhat distant from her. "I might not know everything that's happening with you and knowing you, its probably for a good reason." She reached across the table and put her hand over his, laughing she shook her head. "My goodness son, it's a good thing we stopped measuring you when you were 13, I cant imagine what the door frame would look like over the last few years huh?" She smiled again, patting his hand. It was a relief to know that she trusted him, even after that year where she thought he was sneaking out to do what everyone described as 'gang related activities'.

"I know I don't tell you this very often but thank you mom." She raised her eyebrows but the smile on her face stayed put. "I know it couldn't have been easy raising me on your own and then dealing with me the last few years, I mean the food bill alone." He chuckled. "I just…I'm lucky to have you." She was not a sentimental woman, normally but she walked around and mimicked his earlier action hugging him, and he let her. It had been so long since they really talked, he was glad he had this moment with her. She teased him as she cooked, asking him about girls and his friends, he forgot how laid back she was. Their dinner was not filled with a tense silence as it had been anytime he actually made it home for a dinner. Her presence was comforting and he could feel her energy shift as he told her, without actually telling her, the dynamic of his pack, she was just happy to be a part of his life again and that settled down his wolf for now.

Embry helped his mother clean before running back out the door. He wanted to help Paul out in any way he could, he couldn't not do anything. He had come to the conclusion that he and all of them had done nothing long enough. There were no vampires in the area and there hadn't been in over a year, what were they doing with themselves, what were they protecting their people from now?

There were other monsters out there and he was sure they might even be just as bad and possibly worse than some of the bloodsuckers. Any human who could hurt his own flesh and blood, an innocent child at that, was far worse than any leech he had ever torn apart. Embry made it to Paul's house, it was the first time he'd ever felt weak in a long time. Paul let him in and went straight to the kitchen and grabbed him water, it was scary how in sync they were as men. Gulping down the entire glass Embry sat down on Paul's giant brown sofa.

"I'm sorry man, I couldn't sit still and I'm not sure why but I felt like I had to come here." There were times when Embry thought Paul might be his brother, but then again, he felt that with Sam and Jacob too. Paul nodded.

"Its alright, Bella just left. Sue is trying to see if she can take Wendy, Billy has been calling everyone he can…" Paul ran his hands through his hair, he looked like he'd aged already and it had only been a day. Embry was back to feeling ashamed and said so.

"Feels fucking bad man. I mean how could we not know this shit is happening right under our god damned noses?" Paul nodded, his head looked heavy and the action seemed strained. "I know she's your…" Embry hesitated, it didn't seem right to say imprint because he wasn't really sure that's what it was. "imprint. And I mean what if she wasn't, what then?…fuck we're useless Paul!" Embry stood up and Paul followed suit. There was no argument from him either, Embry sat back down.

"What do we do?" Embry wasn't sure he could think outside this one child right now because she was pack now and it was instinct to want to protect her. "I mean what do we do about others, what about those kids that are living off one shitty school meal every day? Or those ones that are bruised and scarred already?" It made his throat close up and his eyes sting and he was aware of Paul's eyes on him, not that seemed bothered by it, he looked as messed up about it as Embry.

"I don't know Em." Paul looked so hopeless and Embry felt bad for piling this all on him when it was his imprint or whatever she was, that was going through this but he still couldn't help that feeling, what if Paul hadn't looked at this kid, she'd be going back home to her abusive asshole of a grandfather as her grandmother looked the other way. It would have continued day after day until she was old enough to run away the way her mother and aunties and uncles did. It made him sick. The phone rang and Paul jumped to get it, Embry could hear Emily's panicked voice on the other end. "She's here Paul and she's got a cut on her head and please just come now!" Both Paul and Embry ran out the back and phased, he could see the wolf's draw to the child, as if she was his pup, not really like an imprint at all, it was something he put aside for later. They ran to Emily's and Embry hoped that her grandfather, the bastard of a man had the brains to at least try to run…it had been a while since he had a good hunt.

**AN:I promise there will be plenty of Paul/Bella in future chapters and before you continue on you should know there will be other POV's from the pack as well. Again this story is focused on life around the pack and its sort of them just waking up to the world around them, the one without all the supernatural stuff.)**


	3. Chapter 3

3. The hunt is on. (PPOV)

It took exactly two minutes and twelve seconds for him to reach Sam and Emily's house, it was the first time he'd phased since imprinting…twice. Paul could feel his heart racing, he needed to get there, he could hear Embry's observations of his or his wolf's connection to Wendy. It did feel like she was his pup and he needed to get there for her, to see her for himself, to make sure she was alright. The man in him had the overwhelming need for Bella it was all so natural but strange, she was his mate, Wendy was his…pup…as he phased back and slipped his shorts on his thoughts became distorted, it made more sense to him as a wolf, like it was instinct. Sam was waiting at the door, the rage was rolling off of him Paul had never seen his alpha look so feral.

"Its bad Paul." Sam shook his head sadly before he led him up to the room where Wendy was, he could smell the blood and he could smell that sick bastard all over her. The crying he could hear coming from the room was not from Wendy but from Emily, she was knelt beside the bed with a damp cloth. Paul took shaky steps toward the bed, he could still hear her tiny heart beating, his wolf wanted him to sniff her but he couldn't, he already knew what scent he'd find. The little girl let out a cry that had Paul running from the room, he barely made it out the door before he phased, Sam and Embry on his tail, he ran straight for the run down house not giving a fuck if anyone saw him.

When they got there, there was nothing. There was no one, just a trail of blood, he could feel the bile rising it was Wendy's blood. Paul looked to Sam, they sniffed around the house it smelled like mold and sour milk, like blood, like semen, alcohol and cigarettes. The house was just as awful inside as it was outside. There was a tiny room with no door, it was empty and the carpet had been torn out leaving a cement slab in its place. There in the corner was a bathmat and a tiny pillow and tiny blanket. Paul's wolf howled and he could barely hold his shape. They could smell her blood, this was her room, all of her belongings were on her body and in that small corner of that small room. The grief and pain knocked the air out of his lungs, he couldn't breathe. He didn't need to see anymore, there would be no food in the cupboards, no clean clothes for her in the closet, no dolls or stuffed animals to comfort her, there was absolutely nothing here for her.

The lump in his throat was so painful and he didn't want to swallow it, he had to stay strong for her but he had never known this sort of pain. Even as a child of an abusive father, he had a bed to sleep in, clean clothes to wear and some fucking food in his fridge. The welts he would get on his backside were nothing compared to this. Paul could no longer hold back, he made it out the back door and phased before he collapsed from the pain, so much fucking pain. It didn't matter that it was daylight and everyone could hear him, he howled…so much pain. He was joined by Embry and then Sam and the rest of their pack. Wendy was not just pack, she was a child that their whole community had pretended not to see, a child that the system in place to protect children like her had failed. They had _all_ failed her.

When each wolf phased out it was only Leah and Paul, she had been quiet and he couldn't even think straight, he was a mess and he wanted to go back and be there for Wendy but he couldn't hold himself together.

"They had a doctor come to the house because she was afraid to leave and they _had_ to examine her, Bella was there with her, so was Emily and mom. She's okay now." Leah whimpered, this had torn each of them up. How had they blinded themselves to the real world, how had they forgotten that this shit was their reality? In what world was it ever okay to forget about who they were protecting. Paul couldn't believe how much time he wasted hating vampires when they had only taken up a blip in time. Of course they were a danger to their people but how could _only they_ exist for one small community? There was a whole world out there with vampires feeding on innocent people and here they were waiting, here they were serving no one but themselves and look what's been happening look what will continue to happen if they keep waiting for the supernatural world to cross them again. Leah stayed silent.

It was always going to be this way if they kept pretending it didn't matter. Not just them but everyone. The rez was a small place and anyone could have called social services for Wendy but they didn't. Embry was right, they couldn't keep doing nothing.

"We cant save them all…" Leah finally spoke up. "I mean we can do things to help them and maybe have some of the sick assholes around here banished but we cant help them all." Paul knew that but they could try. "We could try, we will try." Leah agreed. "I'm going back, take as much time as you need Paul, you need to be calm for her sake." She showed him a smiling Wendy, kids were thankfully so resilient. It was going to be a long road ahead and he had made the decision to be there for her in any way, shape or form. Leah was thoughtful for a moment. "She is a fighter, like you. Makes sense that your path's would cross…" She showed him Bella. "Her too. I don't think any of us could have seen this coming with you two but…" She thought about Bella and Wendy together. "It makes sense somehow." Paul agreed, it did make sense.

The rage had eventually simmered and Paul could think clearly, he had to be human again. There was too much to take care of right there in Emily and Sam's house. That little girl, his little girl would never set foot in that run down shack ever again. All the pain she had gone through made his eyes sting and his throat swell, the smell and he couldn't understand how a person could hurt their own flesh and blood the way Benny had done to not only Wendy but her mother, her aunts and uncles and probably all her cousins too. It was sick and Paul wanted nothing more than to find that fucker and scalp him before nailing his dick to the nearest tree and slowly tearing him apart. He would feel every bit of pain, if Paul had to wait for him to sober up, to detox and rehabilitate, he would wait.

When he arrived at the house Paul could hear the little girl laughing from the front room. There was no point left in trying to grasp the concept of time and all this wolf magic, it happened for a reason and that reason, or rather those reasons were sitting together reading a book on Sam's arm chair when he entered the room. Wendy smiled shyly at him, her hair had been washed and combed and she was wearing a set of boy's pajamas. The cut on her head looked clean but it was still there, the smell of her grandfather still lingered and Paul flinched internally. He could not let his anger show in front of her, she was still breathing and smiling and that _had_ to be enough for now. Paul smiled back at her and moved slowly so not to startle her, to the sofa closest. Bella was watching him and he could feel her eyes on him the whole time, he could sense it. When he finally met her eyes he could see she had been crying too. He gave her a tight smile and she carried on reading where she had left off before he came in. The pack gathered in the kitchen, they sat quietly while Sam looked tiredly between them.

"I know you all want to find and kill Benny, I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the same." Sam stared down at a spot on the table as he spoke. "However, we are protectors. We are not killers." Jacob shook his head but said nothing, they all knew Sam was right. Paul knew it but he didn't care. The moment the opportunity presented itself, he would seek justice for Wendy. Sam looked up at him, as if he could read his mind, although Paul didn't think he was hiding it very well, nor did he care. "We cant Paul. There is a sickness, he is a part of a cycle and killing him wouldn't do anyone any good. You...we all need to understand that." Sam gritted out the last part. Paul looked around at his pack, if they weren't shape shifters he wondered who they would be. It didn't matter, they were wolves who hunted vampires and they were bound to this land until the next batch of unlucky souls phased. The silence that sat between them was heavy and almost exhausting until Seth spoke up.

"So what do you expect us to do then Sam...we can't just let him run away. I mean what if he moves to another community and targets kids there, are we supposed to just let him get away this?" Seth was rarely, if ever angry and to hear him raise his voice, to challenge their alpha had caught most of them off guard. Sam shook his head.

"No we wont let him get away, we catch him and we bring him back to our council. We banish him and then hand him over to Charlie." Sam looked at all of them and stopped at Paul. "We protect her not by killing him, she has lost so much already...we can't do that to her." Somewhere in the back of his mind, the working, thinking part Paul knew what Sam said was true but he wasn't stupid. No amount of prison time would ever be enough for this twisted old fucker, he had to die...there were no other options. Sam ended their meeting and each pack member walked away tense. Paul felt some of the tension dissolve when he went back into the living room.

Both Emily and Bella were sitting together with Wendy wedged in between them, watching what looked to Paul like some princess movie. She was smiling, her poor teeth Paul thought, would have to be fixed as soon as possible. He flinched as the thought of her being put through more pain crossed his mind. It was necessary though, he wasn't a dentist but his dad taught him to take care of his teeth. It was pretty common around their community though, many parents just let their kids teeth rot out. Shaking off the negative, or trying to Paul took a seat on the other side of Bella. Wendy tensed when Sam came in the room, it took a lot of effort for Paul not to growl at him. Sam kept his distance though and he was grateful for his alpha then, he always seemed to know what to do and that made Paul reconsider his earlier plan of torture and murder, he would think about it.

Billy and Charlie showed up with more bad news, there were no homes approved by social services on the reserve. This meant Wendy could be moved as far as Seattle if necessary. Sue Clearwater had applied for temporary custody and was waiting to hear back and this all made Paul more anxious. He hadn't been this restless since he was a kid and his mom and dad used to fight. Bella was good for him though, he was pretty sure if he hadn't imprinted on her and all this happened, he'd have run and killed without worrying about the consequences, she leveled him out. They weren't really a couple, it was clearly not the right time to be hooking up with all the bullshit flying around them but he was content with her. The small touches and words of comfort were more than enough and she kept him sane.

Paul was running on two legs instead of four for once when Embry jogged up behind him. He needed some time to think, Sue had been granted temporary custody of Wendy thanks to her place on council and for that he was thankful but he worried about what would happen when that temporary agreement ended, where would she go then? His thoughts were interrupted by Embry.

"Charlie got word that Sheila was found dead not too far outside of Port Angeles...sounds like she killed herself." Good, Paul thought, stupid bitch couldn't protect her own children or grandchildren, she didn't deserve to live. Embry shook his head sadly. "I know what you're thinking Paul but don't you think that maybe she did try to get out, that maybe she did try to get her kids out?" Paul sneered, he didn't give a fuck, trying isn't worth shit and he knew that all to well.

"Well if she did, she didn't try very hard now did she?" Paul jogged off leaving Embry behind. Maybe he'd feel bad if Sheila's own grandaughter wasn't completely damaged in almost every way possible. Maybe he'd feel different if she had given her life rather than taking it so selfishly from her family...maybe not though.

It was pretty clear that Benny was still running although Paul wasn't sure how the hell he had gotten so far with no money and no car. The fucker was hitchhiking or maybe he had enough for the bus and now that his wife was dead, he had a little more money to toss around and all this time they were just sitting there letting the police handle it. Paul had a lot of respect for Charlie but he was furious that Sam and Billy and the council would just hand Benny off, why couldn't he be dealt with by his own community maybe they'd see what was going on and want to do something, then again...maybe not they were all pretty good at turning a blind eye at this point.

Paul was done sitting around waiting for this sick old fuck to get caught, he had supernatural senses and he could literally sniff the fucker out, yes he was done waiting it had been a while since he'd gone on a real hunt. Fuck what the council thought, fuck what the pack wanted from him Paul was done and the hunt was on.

**A/N: I am really enjoying the feedback and am a little surprised that as many of you are enjoying reading the story as I am writing it(I don't mean the dark content but the message of the story I suppose, its good to be able to write it and have people continue to read it, so I thank you for that.) I am falling in love with the character Wendy, she is sort of the spirit of all the children in my life combined, strong by nature and happy no matter the circumstances) It actually hurts my heart to write out her story but it is a building block for a strong and steady ending I promise.**


	4. Chapter 4

4. Connecting the dots.(BellaPOV)

She couldn't really describe the connection, even if she tried. There was this pull, she didn't think it was as Jacob described it would be for Paul not that she could blame his reaction, he had been through something similar that same day. There was no point in which she remembered it changing but it did. It happened so seamlessly in her life that it was almost as if Edward and the rest of the Cullen's didn't exist at all. Like the life she lived with her mother away from here, away from Paul and the rest of the pack were simply faded memories, it sent a shiver down her spine. Everything had changed in a moment, that moment with Paul. Not much else mattered anymore because this was where she belonged now...this is where she belonged forever.

It had only been a week since that day outside the small store where her life had become tied to Paul, Wendy and the rest of the pack, to the entire community. Bella shuddered when she remembered Benny, he was so ordinary and looked nothing like the monster she knew he was. She remembered the smell of urine and liquor that poured off him. It had given her nightmares and she could barely sleep that night, how could they just leave Wendy there? And then all to quickly their worst fears became a horrific truth, just like that.

It was all like a terrible nightmare when Sam called her that evening. No explanation, just that something had happened to Wendy and Paul would need her. Bella didn't ask questions, there was no time for questions. Jumping in her beast of a truck and wishing for the hundredth time she owned a faster car, Bella drove and hoped for the best. By the time she arrived, Paul had come and gone and everything just played out in agonizingly slow motion.

There were small pools of blood on the floor leading to the room where Wendy was. Bella took a deep breath before entering, preparing herself for the absolute worst, it wasn't enough. The crumpled body of the girl she had met only hours before lay there, unmoving and so tiny on the queen sized bed. Emily with shaky hands pulled Bella into the room, she too had stopped moving. Stopped breathing. It took her a few moments to pull herself together she wasn't sure what she could do at this point, Charlie had already been called, Paul and the rest of the guys were out looking for Benny and Sheila, she decided it was best not to think about what would happen when they actually found them. A doctor was called because Wendy screamed and shook when they tried to take her to the hospital.

Bella cried, a lot. She had never experienced something so heart breaking in all her life. Nothing would ever be as painful as watching or listening to this little girl as the doctor and nurse examined her, she wailed and Bella never felt more useless. Emily sat quietly on the floor outside the room across from Leah, it was the first time Bella had ever seen them together in a room without the unspoken tension that usually lay between them. Leah sat her legs crossed, slightly hunched looking a lot younger than she usually did. Emily sat with her arms wrapped around her legs, face rested on her knees, she had been extremely quiet and very stiff and slow in her movements since Bella arrived. None of the women said a word to the other, it was too tense and too heavy of a situation to say anything. They waited and waited, and waited some more. Sue had been put in charge of taking care of Wendy, she was truly the only adult in the house. It was so easy to forget that they all were so young yet, easy until something difficult like this came up.

It was a long night full of silent tears and the occasional whispered check in between Sue and the women who set up camp just outside the room.

Hours passed and eventually Emily got up to cook and when Leah couldn't sit there anymore she got up and started tidying things up. At some point she left to check in on Paul, he hadn't come back and Bella tried not to worry. She was told that he was okay and that Benny and Sheila were gone, it woke something up in her. How dare they hurt their grand daughter and just leave her to die! That made Bella's blood boil, she hoped Paul did find them and rip them to shreds, they truly were monsters and it made her sick to her stomach, they deserved something far worse than death though and before she could get too caught up in imagining the horrible ways for them to die Leah was back.

"You okay Swan?" Leah looked a little less stressed and Bella thought for a moment it must be nice to have an escape from your own thoughts for a while but then again, to know what everyone else was thinking couldn't be much better. Bella gave her a nod, it felt heavy and forced. The truth was she was not okay and suddenly the rush of anger, sadness, hurt, pain and heart ache hit, all at once. The tears came fast and her breath's came short, she was not okay. There had been this strange feeling creeping up on her since the moment she and Paul left Wendy, she couldn't explain it if she tried. It was like need, want, anxiety, worry, grief and she wasn't sure for what, all fused together by this overpowering sense of...love. It made everything she ever felt before it, hallow and small. Leah moved in one smooth motion to her side, it wasn't as strange as she thought it would be, her comfort.

"It'll be okay...she'll be okay." Leah wrapped Bella up in a hug and she had never felt so...safe. It was like family except she couldn't remember feeling this sort of care from her mother or Charlie. Bella's sobs died off and she worked on breathing properly. Emily returned with some food and water for them, she looked between Leah and Bella and took a spot beside them and they returned to the silence and waiting.

Bella must have fallen asleep because she was jolted awake by the sound of the most heart breaking cry. They could hear Sue and the nurse struggling with her behind the closed door. There was a lot of rustling around and then the cries became softer and her small voice became a lot harder to hear. Leah looked at Bella then back at the door.

"She's asking for you." Leah's eyebrows were pulled down as she listened in again. She gave Bella a sad smile. "She can't remember your name but she must feel what you feel because she wants to see you." Just then Sue opened the door to grab Bella.

Hesitantly, quietly and with extreme caution Bella walked into the room. Sue reassured her, it was fine but was it really? Now what? What the hell was she supposed to do to make this little girl alright? Bella had never been around children enough in her life, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do.

There was a book sitting on the nightstand, it must have been a book Claire left behind. Bella was awkward in lots of ways and she was clumsy too so she was sure that put a limit on any use she could be to Wendy but she looked at the book again, she couldn't do a lot of things but she could read…and that's exactly what she did and even if she read the same story over and over again she felt like she was doing something. Wendy began to smile when her favorite parts came up. Eventually she felt comfortable enough to move to Bella's lap, and not long after she wanted to see the rest of the house. Wendy was quiet and she jumped every time someone walked in the door. It wasn't long before Emily shooed any one who wasn't Sue, Leah or Bella out of the house, the pack that stayed behind stood guard outside. It made Bella wonder how Wendy would react to Paul, would she be afraid of him now? Would she be afraid of all men after this? God, no one would blame her but Bella really hoped not.

It wasn't long after all her pondering that Paul walked in. They made eye contact, she hadn't even realized she missed him or needed him until then or maybe he needed and missed her, she couldn't tell what her own feelings were anymore but it didn't matter because he was back. Wendy smiled shyly at him and all the tension and worry left her. Thank god.

Love was a word she could have used to describe her feelings for Edward and the Cullen's then again so was infatuation and possibly even obsession. There were no words to describe what she felt when she was in the same room as Wendy and Paul, it was useless to even try. They were connected in a way she couldn't even begin to fathom, they just were. Just like that Bella had all the family she had ever dreamed of and more in the pack and with Wendy. It wasn't perfect because even if she was a part of the pack Wendy was still a child in a system, she had to be placed in a home with adults who could take care of her. It was odd Bella thought, it wasn't so long ago that she had wished so desperately to stay young forever, now she wished she were older even just by a couple years. So she could be someone who could provide a safe home for Wendy. It wasn't the way the world worked though, she couldn't just take her and neither could Paul. They were all lucky when Sue was granted temporary custody but Bella never felt more like a child when she thought about the situation. They were still children her and Paul and the rest of the pack, their status in terms of the real world meant nothing when it really counted...not even Sam.

Who on earth would hand over a child to two barely adults? Although she imagined a happy home with Wendy and Paul, Bella was aware of the real world and its very real rules and expectations. Realistically, Wendy would be placed in a home off the reservation with a family they didn't know. Charlie didn't understand why Bella was suddenly so interested in becoming a foster parent, he reluctantly gave her the contact information for social services but he didn't really ask a lot of questions. For her to even have a remote chance she needed to have her own place. Then she needed a job, one that paid enough to provide for a growing child. Even if her application was approved it could take months, years even to make it happen. None of this stopped her from applying though, she encouraged Paul to do so as well. Even if the three of them were bound together it didn't mean a whole lot to anyone outside the pack, they had a lot of growing up to do still.

Bella filled out an application for school and for any place that was hiring in Forks. If she let the reality set in for too long she'd go back to feeling hopeless and useless and she refused to go back to that. When Paul did come around it wasn't for anything really, just comfort. They spoke few words to each other when Wendy wasn't around and she knew it wasn't normal for an imprint and that the pack was questioning it as much as she was but no one said anything. Paul was dealing with it and so was she.

When Leah showed up at her door step, Bella knew it wouldn't be good news. The bad news was that Paul had taken off, he was on his own looking for Benny and even worse news Wendy was being moved that day. Seattle was the closest available home. It suddenly became extremely difficult, nearly impossible to breathe. This was about all she could take and she still couldn't breathe. Leah grabbed the keys for the truck and Bella could feel herself being moved from the floor...when had she fallen over? To the couch. There was someone else in the room with them, Charlie? It all sounded muffled and Bella tried but couldn't open her eyes. Instead of fighting it, she let the calm take her.

Waking up in a hospital was not new to her, the last time was after she took off to Phoenix when James tried to kill her. Bella figured it must have been an anxiety attack or something, she looked around the room. Everything looked so white and it all smelled really off to her. There was a nurse shuffling things around on the other side of the room and she could hear people talking outside, none of the voices sounded familiar though. It made her feel so strange and out of place, she didn't want to be there anymore. Wendy was probably in Seattle by now and Paul, she couldn't even think about him without her stomach twisting into uncomfortable knots, she needed to get out of there and sort everything out.

"Oh you're awake." The nurse looked at her nervously, this only made things worse. Something was off about this. "The doctor should be back to check in on you shortly." She made her way out of the room and Bella sat up in the bed staring around the empty room feeling so strange. When he walked into the room Bella's whole body stiffened and it nearly sent her into shock. Carlisle was standing there looking exactly the way she remembered him.

"You're going to need to breathe Bella." Why the fuck was he there! It made her so angry and she wondered if they were all back but she didn't ask. She said nothing. They were a part of her past and there were more important things to worry about right now. Instead she took several deep breath's, he was right she did need to breathe because she could breathe. She after all, was still capable of doing so. When she calmed down she continued to breathe because she was still human and she had never been so relieved of that fact until that moment. Carlisle watched her, the anger she felt faded, he had never done anything but help her when she needed it, she couldn't hate him for something he couldn't help.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen." She was glad he had helped her. It never even occurred to her that he'd come back but there he was. He smiled and explained to her why she was there, it was a panic attack, close enough and that he could prescribe her something for now but she'd have to follow up with her family doctor if she felt she needed something stronger. When he was done he asked if she had any questions...there were so many questions she wanted to ask him but she kept her mouth shut, she could deal with all this shit later. He filled out her release forms and Charlie came to pick her up.

Bella left the hospital with another worry...What the hell was Carlisle doing back in Forks?

**AN: I am not big on writing in the Cullen's(nothing against the character's I just don't like to use them) so I am letting you know this will be the only appearance by any Cullen in this story and there is an explanation but there are far more serious matters to deal with in this one than Vampires. Thank you for reading and/or reviewing**


	5. Chapter 5

_(I'm so sorry for the late update, my explanation will be at the end in the author's note.)_

**5. Torn. (PPOV)**

Nothing in his life would ever be normal, ever. No matter how much he wished and prayed for it, it just never fucking happened. Paul couldn't have a normal family, he had to change into a god damned wolf to feel even remotely loved and it seemed like when things leveled out, every bad fucking thing would topple him over again. There was that little bit of hope he had left for maybe going to college or getting a job out of town with no obligations unlike Sam, Jared, Quil or Jacob he had no reason to even want to stick around. Then just because fate wanted to, it tied him to TWO other lives. Both a little girl and a woman were now his future, he had no idea how or why it happened but it did and he knew he was going to feel like an asshole for throwing himself this little pity party later, he always did.

How the fuck was he supposed to deal with all their baggage and his own? After a failed attempt to hunt down Benny, Paul returned to La Push the rage still simmering just beneath his surface. Bella had been having panic attacks and it was probably his fault and now Wendy was being moved, what felt to him like it was across the fucking universe and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. Not Billy, Charlie, Sue or Sam could do anything for her either, everyone including himself was just useless. He was getting tired of being so useless.

So here he was waiting for this pack meeting to happen, unable to concentrate on anything. All the fear he had of Wendy leaving put an ache in his chest, how the fuck was he supposed to protect her when she was so far. Sam cleared his throat, everyone seemed to be in a world of their own and Paul looked at his pack, Leah had bags under her eyes, Seth seemed to age over night, he looked more like a worn man than the innocent kid he was supposed to be. Jacob, Quil and Embry all looked like they were going to snap at any moment and Jared and Sam radiated the tension they all felt.

"Recently there has been some rapid growth in a few of the boys around here." Sam took a deep breath before continuing. "I didn't think much of it until Dr. Cullen was spotted around town." Paul had heard about that, fortunately his head was too much of a mess to work himself up over it. "Jacob and I have met with him." Sam looked directly at Paul before continuing. "Apparently there were some vampires around town, the Cullen's were here to deal with it, its been handled." Paul frowned, why the fuck was it his problem then? "They were here looking for Bella…" What?! Everyone but Jacob looked at each other then back to Sam. Paul shook his head, there were other leeches creeping around their land and not one of them noticed? Paul was shaking now, he had failed at a lot of things but this, this was fucking it. All his focus had been on finding that cock sucker Benny and then making sure Wendy was safe and he completely missed or forgot the fact that Bella was a danger magnet. Paul was thrown outside just before he phased and did something stupid like tear apart Sam and Emily's house. Both Sam and Jacob followed him out, on two feet though, they worked together to try and calm him down.

"You have to calm down Paul, its okay. Bella's okay and she has no idea what's going on…that little one, the one that has visions, she saw them coming and the Cullen's were here on time, the Doctor just happened to be visiting the hospital when Bella was brought in." Sam was right, he did have to calm down. He knew Bella was okay, he'd just seen her. Why the fuck were there blood suckers looking for Bella though. Jacob took that moment to chime in.

"The Cullen's had a run in with some Nomads last year, one of them tried to kill Bella then…the Cullen's saved her ass." Jacob scoffed. "Even if they were the reason she was being hunted in the first place." Paul whined. How the fuck was he supposed to protect these two? One had a past life where she was in love with a fucking vampire, a whole family of them actually and the other, she had already been preyed on by her own grandparents and god knows who else. Sam and Jacob let Paul pull himself together before either of them spoke again. Paul eventually calmed down enough to phase back and Sam threw him a pair of shorts.

"How do we know that this 'problem' has been dealt with. Are we supposed to just believe the good doctor and his blood sucking family then?" It was the truth, they may have a treaty but that didn't mean shit when it all came down to it, they all knew it.

"Both Jacob and I have checked the area, the scents are older and we haven't found anything new…I know its hard to do but we just need to trust that they took care of that problem, they didn't come back here for nothing Paul." Sam sighed. "I know it's hard for some of us to believe but they did come back to protect Bella, maybe it was out of guilt or something but they did take care of it Paul and now they're gone and we can get back to figuring out what the hell we're going to do with the boys who are going to phase and the rest of the fucking problems around here." Sam wasn't his usual self but none of them were, vampires were a problem that they could actually deal with. Everything else…not so much.

It bothered him that there were Vampires just coming and going as they pleased around here, like they owned the place. There was a time he would have blamed Bella for attracting them, but the truth was those blood suckers did as they pleased and it had nothing to do with anyone but themselves. They existed, they fed off humans because that was part of their survival. Some of them had forgotten how to be human and some held onto that last bit of humanity for everything it was worth and Paul had no idea why. When monsters like Benny roamed the planet being a god damned human, what hope was there really, for humanity? What was the point.

Unsure what compelled him to tell Bella, Paul did tell her about the Cullen's and the others that were after her. Her reaction was strange, she didn't panic at all, in fact she seemed relieved and it confused him. He told her so.

"Some things are not worth worrying ourselves over you know?" Bella looked thoughtful. "I mean if I sit here worrying about everything that could have happened, how the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight or any night? I just...there are more important things to be thinking about right now like Wendy." She looked up at him. "And like you." Paul said nothing, what could he say to that? No one worried about him and he honestly didn't think he was worth the worry but...it was different with Bella. There was something so sincere, so honest about her that he couldn't help it. He needed her to get through a day and all the little things added up. The small touches and smiles she offered him, he took. Maybe he was greedy that way but he needed something good to pull him through the shit and she was it.

Another week and possibly a few days had gone by since Wendy moved and the social worker hadn't been in contact with them like she said she would be. It was physically painful for him and he was throwing up from these blinding headaches, as a shape shifter his immune system was supposed to keep him from getting sick, he should not be this sick.

"You need sleep." Bella told him as he walked into her kitchen, it was a part of their routine now. When he was done doing what needed to be done on the rez and she was done with homework, he would show up and keep her company or maybe, he thought, he was there for her company, didn't matter he needed her that way, needed to see her. Paul shook his head, even if she was right he didn't want to sleep, sleep meant dreaming and he couldn't keep going back into his head where there was that little girl curled up in a ball crying for him. Bella nodded, he told her about the dreams already so she could sort of understand, she went back to cooking and Paul was just glad to be free of the headaches for a few moments.

Of course this was all linked to whatever connection he had with Wendy and Bella, he knew that, everyone knew that. It was preventing him from doing anything useful and while Embry and Leah were actively trying to make a difference in their community, while Sam and Jared were trying to get a community police project going and Quil was doing his best to stay out of Paul's head space, Paul was moping. His wolf was even worse, when he actually phased it became a challenge not to run straight for Seattle.

They were waiting for a few of the younger boys to phase for the first time…but it never happened. This was a good thing, it meant the Cullen's were true to their word, they had taken care of whatever bloodsuckers were lurking around the area and then they left. Those boys wouldn't have to deal with this shit on top of whatever they were currently faced with. It sucked being unbearably hungry with no food to spare. Paul and the rest of them knew that all too well. That was another thing they wouldn't have to worry but it didn't make the other problems just disappear. Everything would take time, everything always took time, not that he should complain, he truly did have plenty of time.

On one of the nights he did manage to run as close to Seattle as possible, Embry caught up to him. It didn't really occur to Paul how much time he had been spending with Embry, the guy was always around when he felt the urge to run. He thought it might have been Sam but Emrby just came out and told him, he liked feeling like he had a purpose. Embry was easy enough to get a long with, he knew his boundaries and Paul rarely, if ever had to straighten him out. This night though, something snapped and it was Embry who lashed out.

They reached a small wooded area and it reeked of booze, urine and rotting flesh. Paul didn't hesitate he could feel his spine tingle and his blood boil, this scent was familiar. Benny. His body had bloated to the point he had become unrecognizable but Paul knew that smell. Embry had faded somewhere in the back round of this god damned scene, which could have been pulled straight from some cheesy 90's horror movie. Even the animals knew better than to touch the toxic remains of this piece of garbage. Paul circled the corpse, and before he could even make a move Embry leaped over him and began to tear the rotting body to pieces.

Stunned, Paul stood watching as the flesh flew. It was different than seeing cold hard pieces of marble like skin being torn apart, he could hear it ripping and hear the drops and pools of fluid landing everywhere. Embry's thoughts were all jumbled, but one thing Paul could clearly pick up was "brother." "No one hurts my brother." He didn't put too much thought into it because Embry had sort of lost it and he needed to be calmed down.

There was blood everywhere and Embry seemed to simmer down some, he dug a hole and Paul followed suit. Together in absolute silence, they buried whatever pieces were left of the monster that had destroyed Wendy's innocence they could. Paul didn't really feel any better and he knew Embry didn't either, Benny was dead but Wendy was still in some stranger's house, away from her home and none of this really changed anything.

Embry phased back and started running on foot, Paul again followed. They needed to be out of each other's heads for a while. They cleaned up in a nearby stream, Paul planned to block this particular memory, he wasn't about to let Embry take heat for this, he had blocked a lot of things from the pack. Not even Sam could get into the walls he'd put up to guard himself. He wasn't really sure why he felt the need to protect Embry now but he did and all of his senses told him that he had to keep this locked away, from everyone, including Bella. They phased back and were immediately ordered back by Sam, Embry's mind was as blank as Paul's, they didn't speak and Paul knew it would have to be this way for a while. Until things in their lives were made right again.

Days passed and Paul woke up every single night in a cold sweat, something was wrong and he had to get to Wendy and he wasn't getting anything done there. He didn't bother getting dressed, he ran outside and phased running again. Until she was back he would always be pulled between two places, no matter how close he got Sam would always order him back but it didn't matter Paul ran. It felt like the part of them connected to Bella was holding him back, he battled himself every time he ran, torn in two and both parts equal but the greater need was from Wendy at the moment. Bella would understand, or he hoped she would.

_**A/N**: I apologize for the very late update. I've had a lot of personal things, from work(most likely losing out on a fantastic job opportunity) to children(my family is growing) and family emergencies(had a scare with my dad ending up in the hospital) to keep me from getting things going again but I'm back, or trying to be. Lots of stuff going on right now but I'm back or trying to be back. My apologies.  
_


	6. Chapter 6

**6. Unleashed and broken.**

**I. Unleashed(EmbryPOV)**

The scene played over and over again. A never ending loop that would wake him from sleep and have him running for the bathroom to rid the taste of rotting flesh from his mouth. He'd wake up, brush his teeth until his gums bled and force himself back to sleep. Embry became distant, he'd figured out a way to keep his thoughts from his pack and he was grateful Paul hadn't told anyone. What sort of monster was he now?

The human part of him took great satisfaction in knowing that Benny had probably suffered a very painful death, the only death he was worthy of. The primal part of him wanted to be able to relive it over and over again, without all the guilt but Embry did feel guilty and he wasn't sure why? It wasn't like _he_ killed Benny, maybe it was because he knew Chief Swan was still out looking for him, or that the council had planned a trial for Benny, or maybe the guilt was from just knowing how little guilt he actually felt.

It was like that feral wolf, similar to Paul's, had clawed its way to his surface and he had to restrain himself from going on violent rampages, or just flipping over the smallest things. Embry was changed and he was sure there was no turning back and the only person he thought could help him was avoiding him at all cost. It was pretty clear to Embry that Paul was his brother, it hadn't become obvious to anyone else though, they'd all figure it out eventually.

Embry kept to himself most days, everyone else had things to do and he just didn't feel like trying anymore. This person he was now, just didn't care. The only person he genuinely didn't feel angry at was his mother these days. God, he even pissed himself with all this misery and anger. Occasionally Sam or Jacob popped in to make sure he was still around, god forbid he actually managed to escape or die or something.

After about a week and a half of keeping himself(mostly) human Embry needed to phase, his wolf was restless and he could barely hold his shape. Thankfully no one else was around, pack or human and he could really just let go. His wolf was awake now and up until that very moment, Embry was under the impression that he had full control of his inner beast. Something had broken in him and he could still think human thoughts but the wolf, the body were no longer his, something within him had been unleashed. Embry panicked and tried to howl, no sound would come out, it was like he was trapped in his own body, or the body of the wolf he sometimes turned into. This wolf ran and it scared him because if he couldn't control it, if he couldn't figure out how to reconnect himself to this animal he would be trapped and he doubted even Sam or Jacob would be able to help. The smell hit him, it was blood, the wolf didn't hesitate, another corpse, thankfully it was only an animal this time but Embry was worried now.

Eventually there was nothing left but bone and his wolf dozed off. Embry took that moment to phase back. It was like the first few times and he started to get nervous. Why the hell couldn't he do this? He had done it a thousand times before, it should have been easy. Concentrating on being human was what did the trick the first few times, Embry tried and failed. Terrified of being trapped in his wolf forever Embry's thoughts began to spiral out of control. It was a familiar voice that snapped him out of it. Paul.

"Hey man, you okay? Sam sent us out to look for you, he said he couldn't hear you, none of us could." Paul stood above him, fearless as always. Embry whined, oh he could whine but he couldn't fucking howl? Of course. Paul shook his head. "You look different…" Paul crouched down for a closer look. "You smell different too." Embry whined again. "How did this happen…" It was more of a rhetorical question and Embry knew he wasn't expecting any sort of answer, even if he could some how change himself back. The wolf had at least calmed down in Paul's presence and Embry felt comfortable again. A quick shiver ran down his spine and he began to vibrate, the intensity of shifting back felt different. Embry crumpled himself into a ball on the forest floor, he was dry heaving and somewhere in the back round he could hear Paul's voice, he was cursing more at himself than anything else and Embry didn't understand why...it wasn't like this was _his_ fault. Everything around him began to blur and he thought he might have passed or blacked out after that.

The next thing he remembered was waking up in a bed, it was too firm to be his own, he didn't really have to look around to know where he was, the room was familiar though and of course he would end up at Emily and Sam's. He could hear everyone talking from somewhere in the house. Did he really pass out? Embry sat up, he had on shorts, not that he had a problem being naked, none of them did. It always just felt awkward when they were around non-pack. Embry shivered, it was a weird sensation because it had been so long since he'd felt a chill. He looked down at himself and noticed the sheen of sweat covering him…was he sick? Embry called for Jacob, they had sort of drifted a part over the last few weeks, most of them had though.

"Jake" He called again, his voice sounded all hoarse, it didn't help that his mouth felt too warm and dry. Jake came in, he looked so much older and it had only been a bout a week since Embry had seen him last. He wondered if he too looked any older.

"You don't look so good Em, I'm going to grab you some water and blankets, I'll be right back." Embry shook his head, trying to argue but Jake was already gone, Embry pried himself off the bed and across the room to look in the mirror, he looked fucking awful. No wonder Jake was so anxious to get out of there.

"You should probably lay back down." Jake moved swiftly, quickly to help him back across the room. Embry was vibrating now, not like he was about to phase but like he had the chills, teeth chattering and all. Jake looked at him, he couldn't hide the worry if he tried…of course he did try though. "I think my dad has some pills that would work for you." Embry shook his head, or tried to…his head felt really heavy. Jake wouldn't have listened to him anyway, Embry just laid there and listened to his pack panicking. They were worried about him, he probably should have mentioned he'd been sick a lot sooner, probably should have just told them everything. Maybe he was sick from ingesting Benny's poisoned blood. Embry eventually passed out again, he promised himself he'd say something when he woke up again, or when they woke him up. He hoped this wouldn't make them hate him…he already hated himself enough for all of them.

**II. Broken BellaPOV**

There were days when Paul had left and didn't tell her, he didn't have to, she could feel it. It was becoming more difficult for her not to be angry. The last time he ran off he came back even worse off than he left. Bella noticed it in Embry too, she didn't poke, prod or even bother mentioning it, he wouldn't have told her anyway. It upset her and then she would feel bad for feeling that way and make herself more upset. The knot in her stomach seemed to grow larger every day. The stress was felt by everyone it seemed, even Charlie was touchier than usual. No sign of Benny anywhere, Bella knew with absolute certainty that there never would be, she could feel it and she refused to question it. It was a strange, twisted yet comforting feeling.

Wendy's social worker finally got in touch with Sue, seemed that Wendy was a bit of a "handful" for the first family. It pissed Bella off, how dare they call her a handful, she had been through hell which was the only place she truly knew and then they pick her up and move her as far as they possibly could, away from anything or anyone familiar. Now they were looking for another home for her. Bella ended up spending a lot more time with Sue, she researched and contacted as many places as she could, there had to be a way to get the little girl back and if she couldn't then that piece of her that felt so broken would only become more so.

There were stranger things happening within the pack, Paul had come by a few times, he'd fall asleep, wake up looking like he would be sick and then he'd find an excuse to leave. The more it happened the more she wondered what good she was to him, wasn't she supposed to balance him out, isn't that what happened with the others? No, because they were different and no matter how much she tried, or he tried, they were out of balance. She had only seen Embry once in two weeks and honestly his appearance startled her, there were bags under his eyes and he looked like he hadn't slept in days, she was sure he didn't even notice her there and the rest of the pack didn't look much better. Jacob still was her best friend, they chatted when he had the time, she found that he had a lot less time as he prepared to step up in his community, he would be the chief and there was a lot he needed to do before that could happen.

Whatever the case with each of the pack it was clear, being a pack wasn't all that much of a priority anymore. Bella wondered if they noticed. They spent very little time on all fours anymore and even less time with each other as people, but she imagined it probably wasn't easy having to be in each other's heads when everyone was so scattered. They were lost. It wasn't fair either, their lives had been turned so many times it wasn't fair to expect them to deal with all the bullshit they had to. The supernatural world was part of them, it always would be but they were still people, young people with long futures ahead of them. Sam and Leah missed out on scholarships, too much time had passed and if they wanted those same opportunities, they were expected to find their own way…it wasn't fair.

Bella tossed and turned most nights, it used to be over Edward and her ridiculous fantasies of becoming immortal. How did she get to this point anyway? The Cullen's weren't people, maybe they were once upon a time. Now they had money and things like illnesses, stress, abuse and basic bullshit didn't apply to them. It still made her sad to think of them some times and seeing Carlisle made her realize she might always feel that way. They were sort of a part of her but she'd never ever trade in what she had now for them but they helped her grow up a bit too. A soft knock on her door brought her back to reality. Charlie poked his head in the door.

"Bells, your uh, _friend _Paul is here." Weird, she wasn't expecting him. Bella got up and followed her dad, she shook her head. _Friend_. They were friends and Charlie and basically every one else knew that. It wasn't like they were sneaking off to make out and they were so caught up in all the seriousness that was life that they really didn't focus too much on each other that way at all. Though the little touches were still something they both needed. Paul was sitting, or rather slumping over in her dad's beat up arm chair. Charlie cleared his throat and found a way to exit in the most awkward fashion he could manage. Bella moved to sit on the couch but Paul grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap. It was purely for comfort. He needed it and she knew that, still this was the most intimate he'd ever been with her. She stroked his hair and waited for him to speak.

Twenty long minutes passed, her legs fell asleep but she let him hold her there until he was ready, and to be honest she liked the way it felt, the way he felt there. Bella felt comfortable too, the most she had been in a long time.

"I think Embry is my brother." Was the first thing he said and before Bella could respond he blurted out the rest. "Something happened with him…" He shook his head and she remained silent. "We found Benny's body while we running up near Seattle…" Paul gripped at Bella a little tighter. "He was already dead when we got there, looked like he'd been there for at least a week or two." The shudder that ran through him ran through her as well. Bella did not want to picture a dead Benny but part of her was sort of relieved and she instantly felt sick with guilt for that part. "I was about to mutilate the sick fuck but Embry beat me to it." Paul took a breath and finally looked her in the eye. "I think it made him sick or something, he hasn't said anything to anyone and neither have I…" Bella knew this was something she would never repeat to anyone ever, she couldn't do a lot of things but she was pretty good when it came to keeping secrets, especially one's that protected those she loved. Embry and her weren't close but he was pack and now he might be Paul's brother, she felt an overwhelming need to make sure he was okay too.

"I won't say anything." Bella managed to whisper. There was obviously more going on but her instinct kept her calm, quiet and patient. Paul would tell her when he was ready and she knew he would. He hugged her and it sort of startled her because he sniffed at her. Bella knew he could hear her heart racing, she felt another wave of guilt hit her, this was not the time to be thinking about _that _right now. Paul let her go…eventually and her heart returned to its normal rate. She hadn't moved from his lap though, she didn't think he minded and neither did she. Not even when Charlie walked back in the room did they move…it was purely comfort.

Things between the pack seemed to heat up over the next few days, Embry slipped in and out of consciousness and because no one knew what was happening, they started blaming themselves and each other. Bella kept her mouth shut, even when Jacob called, he was really upset and she felt awful for hiding this information from him, perhaps it would help in some way for him to know...but she couldn't. Paul was absolutely miserable, he was so torn up and she was watching him fall apart with every passing day. Bella knew that this impacted their community as well, they weren't as disconnected as they thought. Word had gotten out that Embry was sick and people stepped up for his mom and for him. Some of those things would never change no matter how many bad things happened, people pulled together when they needed to. They still helped each other when they could, Bella hoped the pack would see it so they could stop excluding themselves the way they had been but it wasn't her place to tell them or judge them either, they would get there eventually.

Days began to blur together and Bella hadn't seen Paul for a few, hadn't even heard from him. Of course she was worried sick and now angry because he had taken off once again. This had to stop and she promised herself she would tell him that the next time she seen him. It was too bad the next time was in the middle of the night, he had snuck into her room and before she could even wake herself up fully, he broke down. Quietly he was crying in her bed and she couldn't be mad at him. He didn't have to tell her, she knew it was Embry and she did her best to hold it together for him but knowing with her whole heart that his was breaking, that he was breaking and things were not ever going to be the same became too much and Bella cried with him. If she could take away all his hurt and pain she knew she would but Bella couldn't and it would make her miserable. Their lives were changing and it was not for the better. Bella held onto him, she would not let him run again because she wasn't sure if she could hold herself together without him at this point, she needed him. He fell asleep and she lay awake praying for something good, anything good to come of this mess.

**AN: My apologies on these very inconsistent updates. Things in my own life are rounding out, thank you for the kind words and congratulation's, I really appreciate them :)****  
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**I will be bringing the story back to Wendy, its just sort of pulling the pack apart at this point and some of you might be like WTF WHY! It is because they are still people and I'm trying to pull back on all the fun supernatural stuff(although it will still be present throughout the story)and shed light on who they are as people, as individuals as son's, daughters, brothers, partners and members of a community. **


	7. Chapter 7

**7. Reality/ Reversed**

**I. Reality (PaulPOV)**

The weight of the world sat heavily atop his shoulders, Paul could barely hold it together anymore and he honestly just didn't give a fuck to try. Bella was his relief, temporary relief but relief none the less, from the shit storm that was tearing apart his life. He went to see her as often as he could, he felt bad, like he was using her and tried to go when he wasn't feeling like a bag of shit but there weren't too many days like that anymore. She didn't seem to mind though, he thought maybe it was because that was her thing, she liked to feel needed. They were becoming a lot more touchy, it was the imprint that kept him in his place though, she wasn't ready for more than that and at this point in time he could deal with it. Not that he didn't think about it because he did, that was about the only part of himself he recognized in all this mess but he could wait it out.

Avoiding people was a way of life for him until he was forced into a pack, forced into some weird imprint relationship with Bella and Wendy, forced to recognize a brother he had never truly known. Yea he avoided people because losing them sucked. Watching his mom walk out with no remorse, seeing his dad give up after that, why the fuck would he give anyone that much power to hurt him again?

Didn't matter now though Bella, Wendy, Embry and his entire pack, they were people he couldn't avoid, even if he tried and he did try. Of course he felt like shit for it afterwards but he did try. It wasn't that he didn't care about them but it was because he cared about them, because he knew that was what happened. It was happening again and fuck if he'd stand by and watch. Embry was barely hanging on, Paul watched as his Alpha and true Alpha searched for answers, the family bond was much stronger than he imagined and he even if he wanted to tell them, something stronger kept him from betraying Embry.

Any doubt he had that Embry was his brother was washed away by the stunned silence of his mother. Paul had seen Tiffany Call so many times before and maybe she just hadn't clued in to who he was or something but the look on her face said it all. All this time Sam, Jacob and Quil worried one of their fathers was a cheating bastard when it had been Paul's dad all along, he honestly wasn't surprised and none of them should be when they found out either, it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world now. Paul wouldn't have been surprised if he had a few other half siblings popping out of the wood work soon enough, it was clear what his dad was doing when he came to La Push to 'visit'.

Tiffany sort of looked like his mom, she was at least prettier than most of the women his dad had fucked around with, not that looks were what mattered to him. After her initial shock she was surprisingly kind to Paul, he thought maybe it was because she felt guilty but she shouldn't because his parent's had no idea about Embry, they were too caught up in their own lives to even know what the fuck was going on with his. When Paul would come to check up on Embry she would be there waiting, a place for him at their table and he felt welcome. The more he came around the more he wished his own mother had been able to get her shit together, he used to tease Embry about being soft, being a momma's boy but the truth was he wished he had that. Whining about it wouldn't change anything though, Paul was fortunate that his dad was around as long as he was. Not all the memories of his childhood were shitty, he thought about Wendy…no he had no right to complain.

Two weeks had gone by and Embry looked like he was wasting a way. He became smaller and his skin became colder and paler, this was death sneaking up on him and Paul tried to stick it out because he was supposed to be strong and even when life was a bitch he had proven time and time again that he could handle it. This time was different though. Maybe his mom and dad weren't around, maybe Wendy was somewhere else for now but they still existed and he could live with that. None of them were really gone but Embry was going. Paul's world was falling apart piece by piece and he wasn't sure he could hold himself together much longer.

At some point Sam figured out the Lahote family secret, not much of a secret really. Paul thought he looked a bit disappointed, then he thought about it, Sam had already accepted Embry as his brother so losing him this way must have been hard. Neither Jake or Quil looked relieved either and Paul knew that he was pretty lucky, probably the luckiest he'd ever been in life to have the kid for a brother.

The reason Paul believed Embry was so sick came spilling out by accident to Jacob and he wasn't angry or disgusted and it made Paul feel shitty about not telling him or any of them sooner. Shit happens and he knew that better than anyone. Jacob handled telling everyone else over the next few days and they were all understanding, as he should have expected. Paul had distanced himself so far from his pack, the only true family he had left, a choice he'd probably always regret and it was Leah who finally broke him one night while they were both running, they didn't "patrol" anymore there wasn't a need but they had to let the wolf out to play every now and then and they were so rarely in each other's head's anymore, it caught him off guard.

"Em is going to pull through this Paul, he's got Lahote blood in him, he'll be okay." It was kinda weird having them acknowledge Embry as his brother but his wolf knew Embry was his family, always has been. Leah hadn't meant to but she let it slip. These memories of her and Embry, they seemed so different from the people he knew. She didn't try to cover them up from him though and he was grateful. This picture of Embry happy was one he hadn't seen in a while, all through Leah's eyes made it even stranger and more overwhelming. Paul didn't point out the obvious, that Leah had feelings for Embry and from her memories of him, he might have felt the same, she didn't need that right now. This pain he was feeling was eased by hers, she was just as afraid, maybe even more so than him, of losing Embry. All this other stuff was happening around him all this this time and he was so oblivious, he felt like an asshole. Leah just shrugged it off.

"It's okay. Shit happens right?" Leah stopped putting on her "bitch-act" a long time ago and he enjoyed her company more than he used to. They sat in silence, both of them experts at shielding their thoughts from anyone else. Leah was sad though and she showed him her memories of her dad, she didn't want to lose anyone like that again. Paul was just a kid when his grandparents died and as far as he knew, the rest of his family was still alive and kicking somewhere out there, he didn't really know this loss and it terrified him. They were quiet again until Paul shared with her the last memory of Embry he had, the day he found him deep in the forest, barely able to phase back. It made Paul whine and before he knew what was happening, he was sitting naked in the woods.

Disoriented, he didn't move an inch, he couldn't. Eventually Paul slipped out of the shock and looked around himself. It was fucked up because that had never happened to him before. Leah found him, she threw him his shorts and sat down waiting, probably for some explanation, he didn't have one.

"What the fuck just happened?" He flopped down beside Leah, not so fluid in his movements these days, he hadn't really thought about it much until now though. Leah shook her head slowly, he hadn't really expected her to know the answer but she spoke softly.

"It's happened to me too. Right after Embry got sick…it's happened a few times since then." She sighed and looked at him. "It's happened when I'm too emotional. Like the wolf can't…deal or something." Paul frowned, he wondered if any of others had experienced this. "I feel different when I phase now too…like sometimes I'm not even myself anymore and I'm just a wolf." Leah looked down at her hands, like she was ashamed. He stayed quiet for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Maybe we're just becoming human again." He honestly couldn't think of anything else to say. Then he thought about it. Maybe that's exactly what was happening, little by little they were coming back to reality. Its not like there were vampires running around the area, they weren't needed for that purpose anymore. There were signs to warn them of the 'protectors' they became, maybe these were the signs to them changing back.

"You think that's what's happening to Em?" Leah's voice was shaky and Paul wasn't sure he could be of any use to her if she started crying. He wasn't good with this sort of shit. Paul shrugged, he could only hope Embry would come out of this alive and even then the little hope he had was becoming less.

"Maybe." He didn't want to sound like some asshole, especially right now. Leah nodded, she wiped at her face and stood up, brushing the soil off her legs.

"I'd better get going, I have to be up early." She smiled in the direction of their reserve. "You should come check out the centre sometime Paul. The kids there are really…something." He nodded, smiling back, he could do that. Leah more or less bounced off and Paul felt less like a pile of shit than he did earlier. He got up and slowly walked toward Sam's place, it had been a while since he really talked to Sam or Jared or Jesus, anyone really. They would have to figure this weird wolf shit out, he kind of hoped he was changing back, it would be nice to have some control over his own life again.

**II. Reversed(EmbryPOV)**

Embry was somewhere, it was a place that wasn't familiar but it was. A lot like being deep in the forest, he felt like he belonged there. There was an older woman there, waiting for him and she spoke what he thought was Quileute, he didn't understand a word she was saying but she reminded him of his grandma so he really tried to listen. The unfamiliar words were comforting and so was she. They sat together and he could feel someone or something watching him. The woman smiled, pointing to a huge silver grey wolf, it had dark spots and he couldn't get over how huge it was. Embry was startled and he shouldn't have been, it was him or his wolf after all.

It looked different. Embry stood up and waited, the wolf approached him, sniffing him. They stood nose to nose, the wolf licked his face, why was he so afraid of it again? The woman chuckled as Embry played with his wolf, it seemed like days, weeks, months and years passed him by and he could do this forever but the wolf got tired. With a sinking heart Embry knew it was time to say good bye, this was not how he'd imagined it but he was glad he wasn't afraid anymore. The woman called Embry and the wolf stopped, Embry felt connected one last time as he saw the peace in his wolf's eyes and then he woke up.

In his own bed Embry felt strange, he felt smaller and emptier somehow. His mom came bursting through his door when she heard him moving around, her eyes welled up and before he could even blink she was there on his bed wrapped around him. Embry lifted a weak arm to comfort her, he hadn't meant to worry her. How long was he out for anyway? They sat there, him letting her hold him like she used to, it was about ten minutes before Paul came in and Embry would probably always remember the look of shock followed by joy on his face. It was something so overwhelming it made his own chest ache and eyes sting. Without hesitation Paul hugged him and cried, it was the weirdest thing but Embry was distracted by his own sobs, to really care. His mom held them both there and Embry felt that empty feeling fade a bit. He would probably question this all later but for now he needed to just be there, with them.

Sam and Jacob came by, both looked so relieved and when they told him how long he'd been out, it had been a couple weeks…holy shit! He felt bad. Its not like he could help it though. He told them about the dream, both of them sat there listening to the details he could remember, it didn't really feel like a dream and that's what messed Embry up. Sam left it to Jacob to update him on pack business, it looked like he'd taken over alpha duty, which wasn't really surprising, he had been preparing for it for a while now.

"There has been some…" he looked to Sam for the words. Sam stepped in then. "Sign's I guess we could call them." Jacob thanked him and continued on. "Yes, signs with the others…we're not sure exactly what it means right now but we think it could mean that since there hasn't been vampire activity around we're changing back." Embry frowned changing back...all of them? Jake continued. "Remember how when you first phased it was hard to control changing from human to wolf…it was almost uncontrollable?" Embry nodded. "Well it seems to be reversing, its becoming harder to stay phased, I think we've all been flung back into reality several times now." Sam chuckled and soon Jake joined in. "Quil tried to phase outside Sam's the other day, to test our theory, phased just long enough to shred his shorts and then landed flat on his human ass." Embry smiled, classic Quil.

They became serious again. "Leah hasn't been able to phase at all and the only person she'll talk to is Paul. We're kinda worried." Embry tried not to let how much that information bothered him, show. Leah was his…friend and the last thing he wanted was for something bad to happen to her. They were watching him now, Sam a little more intently and he had no idea why.

"So we're changing back?" Embry asked although he knew it had already happened for him. He felt strange being alone in his being, what a weird thing to feel but it was what it was. Jacob sighed heavily.

"We think that's what's happening we cant know for sure…none of this shit with us is ever for sure." He glanced at Sam for a second, it was quick but Embry picked up on it and there was obviously much more going on then they were telling him. They left, allowing him to absorb all that, leaving Embry with a whole lot of questions and now he was worried about Leah and everyone else.

The next time he saw the rest of the 'pack' if he could even call it that anymore, was at Sam's, he noticed that neither Leah or Emily was there. It looked different too, like half of the things were gone and it didn't smell but that was something he was getting used to, his senses were all so...human again. Sam looked different and Embry was quickly putting the pieces together. Emily was gone. Changing back was changing them back and that strong connection they made with their imprints would also change. Sam smiled at him, he looked like he had thousands of pounds lifted off his shoulders, relieved.

"Its not that I don't love her...I do." Sam started. "I just don't know her like this." He gestured to himself, Embry nodded, yea like a normal guy without all the stress of having to lead a pack of teenage shape shifters. "She's not happy with any of this, I can't say I blame her." Sam looked thoughtful then added. "But I'm happy." Embry looked at Sam again, really looked at him. He was happy it was hard to deny that.

Embry watched the others, Quil never looked bothered either way, he really just enjoyed his life enough that he could make the best of whatever situation he was put in. Jared was quiet but he looked calm and Seth looked...happy again. It was nice to see them like this after the hell that they'd gone through in such a short amount of time. Paul was on his phone texting, Embry knew it was Bella. No matter what was happening with the others those two kept it together and separate from everyone else, he could see Paul loving her without the imprint. There was still a tie to Wendy, Embry had known it, felt it and wondered if Paul thought about it too. If Embry was his brother, maybe there was a chance Wendy was their sister, he kept those thoughts to himself though, no need to add any more stress to Paul.

They goofed around as just them for the first time ever. There were no strategies that needed to be covered, they let go of all the serious shit that was their life for a few hours and just hung out. Not pack but friends. Of course they were all still in the process of 'changing back' so nothing was back to normal yet but Embry looked around and thought there was hope for that.

_AN: So I wrote out a whole chapter and killed off Embry then I felt horrible and couldn't read it without having a mini break down and decided that no I couldn't do that so I changed it. I had to keep him, I did however kill off his wolf which also made me sad(might be hormonal overload, I'm not sure). I love Embry enough to keep him and his perspective of the lives surrounding him to keep him around, he's important._

_So I know the reverse thing is probably not everyone's cup of tea but it doesn't make sense for me to keep them in the real world with this unreal thing looming over them. It's still present though and it won't just disappear and not every imprint is going to change. I don't hate Emily despite how often she gets the shit-end of the stick in my stories, this wont be the last of her either. _

_Hope this hasn't been too much or too little for anyone. _


	8. Chapter 8

**8. **

**I. Enough (BellaPOV)**

The phone rang again for the hundredth time that morning, as Bella searched frantically for her paper work. Finally she had been approved, the process to move Wendy in with her and Charlie had begun. Sue had been helping her get everything together and she continued to offer her support and for that Bella was grateful. Months had gone by, nearly four since she or anyone had seen the little girl and Bella was nervous. What if she didn't remember her, didn't like her? How was she going to react to being moved again? Bella hoped that she could be enough for her, there were countless foster parenting programs, workshops and classes she still had to attend and she was more than happy to but even after all that, how could she be prepared to take on a child?

Bella thankfully did get a job working at the hospital of all places. It was an admin position, not something she thought she'd end up with but something she really did enjoy. She had never thought of herself as a people person, but here she was greeting, comforting and sometimes calming down anyone who walked through those doors. This was something she was actually really good at, not that she would ever give her self any real credit though. She originally applied for a job in the cafeteria to start with and when she went in for an interview they offered her this much better paying position with far more reasonable hours. Of course she was suspicious, it all happened a little too easily and she thought the Cullen's had probably put in a word for her but it didn't matter, she was making enough money to be able to support herself and the child she was hoping to take on. Why on earth would she turn down that opportunity, even if it was a handout from the Cullen's, at least they weren't doing something obnoxious like putting money in her account or something.

"Found it!" She grabbed the envelop and picked up the phone. It was the social worker again, she had been calling all morning. Bella did her best to remain polite as the woman demanded this and that over the phone, it would all be worth it in the end. More questions, and she understood that it was part of this woman's job to protect the welfare of this child but god was she a pain in the ass. After giving her the information needed Bella hung up and looked around, it was a mess. Working full time meant Bella had less time to take care of the house, she was going to need to learn to manage that eventually.

As Bella cleaned she thought about how much her life was changing. Everyone's was. It wasn't like it used to be, but as she learned, it never was and that wasn't a bad thing. There was a man in her life, although things really hadn't progressed and as she discovered, they might not, ever. Not if Paul or her didn't want them to. This bond, the mystical tie that brought them together may dissolve the way Sam and Emily or Quil and Claire's did. Paul still kept her close though, he called, he texted and came by when he could. She tried not to let it get to her, things were good but she really wanted more and that bothered her. Unfortunately Bella had too much time away from Paul to think about him, she felt guilty because he had his own shit to deal with and that she wanted him just drove her crazy. Perhaps she just needed a fling, just to get it out of her system, she was young and taking on all this responsibility made her want to feel like the woman she was trying to be.

Sighing to herself, Bella flopped on the couch. There were moments she allowed herself to just feel, without all the guilt. Paul was not Edward, he was not Jacob, he was unlike anyone she could ever imagine being with. It drove her mad because she hadn't even kissed him and that's all she could think about half the time, he was like the biggest tease without even trying to be and it pissed her off. Here she was still a virgin, she feared at this rate she might become too frigid to function on a regular basis and he flaunted himself, not that he realized that's what he was doing, at her and practically every other woman he came in contact with. At least she could take care of herself though, she wasn't that much of a prude, she was a woman with needs and if no one else was going to take care of her, she had to do it herself. It took her a few moments to shake the frustration, there would be plenty of time to torture herself later, Bella got up and carried on cleaning, this mess wasn't going to clean itself.

The good news of Wendy's soon to be return had spread quickly, Charlie was still hesitant about the entire situation and she could understand, she was the only child he'd really ever been around, and that was only during school breaks, if and when her mom actually allowed it. He hadn't said much to her but she knew when he took on extra shifts and offered himself up to surrounding counties that he was trying extra hard to avoid being home and god forbid, having to voice his concerns about the matter. Bella tried to talk to him but he always managed to worm his way out of it, so she started to look for a place of her own.

Considering Bella would be the main caregiver it didn't really matter if she stayed with Charlie or not, she really didn't want to stress him out. Sue had become a mother-figure to Bella, she was exactly the type of woman she wanted to be like. When she called Bella to tell her there was a place available for her and Wendy on the rez, she broke down. It was too much, no one had ever really taken care of things for her, but Sue had gone out of her way to help in every possible way, it was overwhelming.

Between packing, working and getting everything ready for Wendy, Bella found herself thinking less and less about Paul or anyone for that matter. It caught her off guard when one of the EMT's she had become familiar with at the hospital, asked her out. Bella declined as politely as she knew how because she didn't date. That wasn't something she did, and she couldn't really imagine trying at this point in her life.

It had been almost two weeks since she'd seen Paul, when he showed up at Charlie's her stomach flipped and she wasn't sure if he could still hear her breath catch and her heart speed up…it was ridiculous and it made her angry. Fuck the guilt and endless torture she put herself through, what did he want from her anyway? It wasn't like he _had _to be there and he wasn't really trying to be. What did he want from her!

Bella waited, he was obviously there for something and she knew it wasn't her, not in that way anyway, it never would be. That truth was like a knife to her heart but she had to accept it, her whole world had been turned upside down, just as his was and she was tired of tip toeing around him. Tired of waiting for him to decide whether she was worth keeping around. It was driving her crazy, she actually felt insane. Paul looked tired and sounded tired as he sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around." She looked everywhere but at him, he was trying to break her down again, keep her in this constant state of suffering. "All this pack shit, if we could even call ourselves a pack anymore, has been a bitch to deal with." He looked right at her and she refused to meet his eyes. No. Enough was enough and Bella was tired of being brushed aside. The pack was one part of his life and she really wanted to be part, any part of his life and it was like this impenetrable wall that she was done trying to break through.

"I know it's not fair to you and I came to tell you I don't think I can…" He paused sighing, she could feel that stabbing pain, so much deeper. Why wasn't she ever enough? Bella did her best to fight back the massive tears she could feel slipping. Too late. "I'm sorry Bella, I really care about you but I don't know how to be this…" He gestured to himself then to her. "to be us." She took a shaky breath and stood up, she was angry and there was no reason for her to hold back anymore.

"You don't get to just hurt me like this Paul!" Bella stared him down, she could look him in the eye now. "I have suffered so much these last few months, right along with you. I know it hasn't been easy for you but do you really think I haven't felt every bit of that pain!" He shook his head but she wouldn't let him get another word in. No, because she was tired of remaining silent for his benefit. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen and I know you have tried to run from it, from me." she wiped the tears angrily, it hurt to have him sit here and tell her what she already knew.

"I know you didn't want this Paul…" her voice softened. "I know you didn't…don't want me." He stood, pulling her into his arms, a place she had missed, a place she wanted to stay forever yet it was a terrible place she wanted to run away from. Bella struggled to free herself, it wasn't very hard, she noticed that he was no longer the rock-solid over sized being she remembered him as, there was something almost fragile, so human about him. "No. You don't get to touch me anymore." She shook her head sadly. "Not that you ever wanted to." It was so hard to control her emotions, she felt so rejected and she wanted to hit him and scream and stomp her feet because it wasn't fair. "Leave!" she yelled at him, she'd never yelled at him or really anyone before and it stung. He stood there, head down, looking like she'd just slapped him. Oh how she wanted to. When he didn't move she pointed to the door and lowered her voice. "Leave." With that he left, as quickly as he'd come.

Bella had never felt so completely angry in her whole life. Eventually that anger turned to sadness, the pain she felt made her want to crumple up and die and she knew it was selfish but she felt it anyway. It wasn't like when Edward left her, this was different, this was real. Instead of shutting herself down, Bella threw her whole self out there, she wasn't going to suffer any longer. Before Wendy would come stay with her, she would get this hurt out of her system.

**II. Messy.(PaulPOV)**

He knew it wasn't fair to string Bella along for his own selfish needs. There were way too many issues he had to deal with before he could even think about being with someone else, especially Bella. The truth was, he could never be enough for her, she had her shit together, he didn't. All he did was fuck shit up and he didn't want to continue to fuck up her life any more than he already had. The imprint, if that's what it was, was still lingering, he could feel her, even when she wasn't there. This was his last attempt to fight it and he gave it everything he got. Did he expect her to fight for him? Of course not. It fucking killed him to hurt her though, the actual ache he felt in his chest when he told her he couldn't be with her. Then the tearing of whatever was holding him together as she accepted this. Never had he felt so proud and hurt, she was right though and he knew she would be okay. He was a selfish prick and he knew he didn't deserve her, probably never would.

The dynamic of the pack had slipped away, they were still close though because they wanted to be not because they had to be. Jared was the only one who held on to the idea of an imprint, Kim wouldn't let him walk away even if he tried, it was a genuine love and even if they didn't last forever, they were both happy now and no supernatural shit was going to get in the way of that. Sam hadn't even really tried to go after Emily, she sent for the rest of her things and Paul as well as everyone else knew that Sam had no intention of fighting for her. He moved out of "their" house and back in with his mom, this was the place that had opened up for Bella and Wendy, not that he thought she knew it yet.

Some of them could still phase, Paul tried but most times he could only manage a few minutes if he was lucky, it was never something he thought he'd miss but he did. The freedom he had to be away from La Push, away from his own stupid human thoughts, he missed it. None of them had really figured out why it had happened the way it did, of course trying to make sense of it, made no sense at all so they just let it be. Had this happened with the others and gone unrecorded? Jake's theory was that because they had become so disconnected from what was supposed to be natural to them as people, it kept their wolf's life spans shorter. They were distant from each other as people, from physically interacting with one another, it threw them off in every other way. They were lucky enough, as Embry put it, to have had that connection with themselves, with each other for the short time they had. Paul supposed he was right but he didn't think on it too much.

Paul had unintentionally landed himself a job at the elementary school, he volunteered to help with the PE program first, a recreational program Leah set him up with. Somehow that turned into an actual job, he coordinated a before and after school program for kids, it was the last place he imagined himself being but he really enjoyed it. Paul didn't seem to get any smaller when he stopped phasing, the way Embry and Quil did, a little softer but no smaller and it made him look like a giant with all those kids, but they loved it. Leah would tease him about being a walking jungle gym, which he felt like most days but he really enjoyed working and knowing that he was actually serving some sort of purpose in his community. It kept him sane and kept him from doing something stupid like trying to beg Bella to forgive him and give him another chance. It kept him from going crazy, from feeling useless and guilty, things he had become so accustomed to feeling lately.

When he wasn't working or working out, which was another thing he found himself doing a lot of. Paul was spending most of his time with Embry and his mom, Tiffany had taken him in and even if he was a grown ass man, it was nice to have a sort-of mom around, she would call him, check in on him if he didn't come by, it was a nice feeling to be cared about that way. There was always something to do though and it was hard for him to sit around feeling sorry for himself. Hard for him to think less of himself, he was starting to believe he was actually deserving of something good in this world, well...most of the time. It usually all ended when he got home to his dim and empty house, the silence would lure out all those thought's he'd fought away during the day...he would eventually torture himself to sleep with thoughts of his failures and losses. It was pathetic, he knew that, no way to live but it was the way he lived and he couldn't imagine that changing. In fact it seemed to get worse when Bella moved to La Push.

She moved into Sam and Emily's old place after they painted and repaired whatever needed fixing, it was in perfectly good condition but Sam wanted it to look different, he knew that Bella and Wendy deserved a somewhat fresh start, they all knew that. He thought Sam also did it so he wouldn't have to be reminded of that part of his life. Not that he was miserable but it was clear that Sam had felt trapped, not just by Emily but by everyone, Paul didn't blame him, he had been forced into the role of alpha, forced into taking a mate that wasn't his choice, forced into constant pain in misery of the woman he had loved and hurt in the process. Yea Paul didn't blame the guy.

Bella had avoided Paul and he understood, he tried to make it easier for her by keeping his distance. She still had some time to get everything ready before Wendy moved in and he noticed her absence over the weekends. It drove him crazy, he heard she was dating and he knew he had no right to be angry or jealous but he was. It was of course Leah who put him in his place and kept him from following her off the rez. When he did happen to run into her, her face would flush and although he could no longer hear it, he knew her heart still picked up speed, his did too. It didn't change anything though, he was still a pretty big mess and he still didn't think it fair that she'd be the one to clean it up.

It wasn't fair to make her suffer anymore than he had. They had both been through enough and he thought just maybe he needed to let her live her own life, give her some normalcy and give himself the time he needed to heal.

**AN: Well I have completely frustrated myself with this chapter, I hate angst, HATE IT! and at the snails pace things are going with Paul and Bella, I get it if you're feeling the frustration too. I apologize for this ridiculously late update, I hate when any fic I'm following is so inconsistent, it drives me crazy, I am sorry for taking so long. No excuses, just life again. I hope this chapter was worth the wait...the next one will bring back Wendy and pretty much a shit storm filled with drama for pretty much everyone. **


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